My heart rides around in a truck

I am so grateful to God for a husband that loves me, respects me, and graciously took responsibility for my children. Part of taking that responsibility requires working as much as is available to provide for a household of 7. That schedule is on an average 3-4 weeks on the road, followed by 3 -4 days at home. My duty as his wife is to encourage and support him, to let him know how much we appreciate what he's doing and the sacrifices he makes. I feel like I must always be positive when I speak to him, not let him know when I'm sad, lonely or discouraged. Sometimes that is so hard. Like today. I looked at the calendar and figured 3 weeks from his last time home and was excited to see him next weekend, but unfortunatley, it's 3 weeks from when he started back to work so he won't be home for another two weeks. I got off the phone with him today, laid down to take a nap with the baby and cried myself to sleep. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon mad at myself for getting upset. It's not like I don't know how this goes. I should be used to it by now. Or do you ever get used to it? Maybe not. I don't think I want to... how can anyone get used to sleeping 100's or 1,000's of miles apart from their spouse, or only eating a handful of meals with them each month. I'm glad that we miss each other... we are always glad to see one another, it just never seems like enough time. Seems like as soon as he's here, it's time for him to go again. I don't sleep well when he's away, 90% of the time within an hour of him being home I'll be sound asleep next to him, it's like my body says "phew! we can relax" and I'm OUT! The other thing that is hard is the birthdays/holidays. He missed Andy's birthday, his birthday, he'll miss Valentines Day, My birthday... and who knows what else. We have learned to be celebration flexible and not be a slave to that calendar. Doesn't matter when these milestones fall on the calendar, we can have a cake whenever we want. The phone is invaluable. Yesterday, the baby made me cry.... Dave called, we chatted for a few minutes and then he asked to talk to Andy. I called Andy in the room and put the cell on speakerphone. Dave began talking and AndyMan said, "Its dad, he's takin' a me" and clapped his little hands. He was so happy. Today, he pointed at his picture on the wall and told me "me daddy in a 'chuck' aww" He hung his little head and climbed on my lap and hugged me. It's days like these that I make myself think of the good things. such as we got to have him for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and he'll be here for Becky's birthday. Which is an especially big deal for her. And as I said, the fact of the matter is that he is a wonderful husband and father, and we are all grateful that he's the head of this household. I just hope that we make this a house he is always happy to come home to.