"Seriously? This is really my life?"

Some days I take a step back and say, "Seriously? This is really my life?" If I could could say it out loud without being committed, I'd say there's a good chance the kids and pets are out to get me, or in the very least drive me to the brink just to make me look bad. And I know they laugh at me (a lot) :)

Honestly, my dog has a better social life than me. In the 2 years since I've had him, he's gone out on the town 90% more than I have. He goes out to do his potty business, and *poof* he's gone. Off to meet new friends and explore new places, while I sit home and worry about him. He's worse than my first husband,who when he wandered off could find his way back eventually, Samson I have to go pick up, and I swear that every time I go to retrieve him when the nice person that finds him calls me, he's laughing at me while I apologize. And I know while I'm giving him dirty looks in the car he's muttering under his muzzle "I have more friends than you." I think he's still a bit snippy about the vasectomy.

The cats keep bringing friends for dinner ~ are you kidding me? Like I don't have enough mouths to feed. 9 lives? I think cat's have 9 stomachs, you should see them eat! I go out on the porch in the morning to let the dogs out and they swarm me like I've just showered in the juice from a tuna fish can! And while I'm trying not to trip over the heard of cats at my feet I also have to engage in a game of "dodge a mole" with my friend Gilbert. Yes, I appreciate him eradicating the vermin, but why must he leave his trophys strategically placed where I have to step. Ever step on a dead mole in flip flops? I have and I can assure you, it's not pretty my friends. And if all that weren't enough I have to deal with my sweet little Puffaluffagus being promiscuous. I tried to warn her, told her their love wasn't sincere and that they'd be gone long before the babies ever arrived, but I guess she'll have to learn that life lesson all on her own, and I'll be left in the WalMart parking lot with the tailgate of my van open with a laundry basket full of fatherless puffballs and a giant sign that says "FREE KITTENS"

My 3 girls are a lesson in patience at Hormone University. I have one in full blown teenager hood, one on the very brink of puberty and one that is trying to decide if she wants to be a big girl or a baby. On any given day this house is a tornado of mood swings, a hurricane of tears, and a landslide of clothes, tiny dolls and plastic animals ~ which makes one wonder if my husband's work schedule of being home only one weekend a month wasn't more carefully thought out than I first expected. (* note to self* chat with Dave about the eery coincidence of his schedule missing the "ugly" weeks on the calendar)

My boys ~ while much less hormonally imbalanced than my female crew, are daunting in their own way. STUBBORNNESS! My little one will only use his potty for a crying stool. Can't seem to grasp that paper is not for shredding and Fridges are not for writing on. He still believes that the dogs need their food pre-softened and continues to put it in the water dish. My oldest taunts me with spurts of achievement, followed by crashes of laziness. One day he can knock out an ENTIRE pace of school work, and get a 98 on the test and then for the next two days I can hardly get him to hold a pencil. He will get his baby brother dressed in monster slippers and a fuzzy tail to clean their bedroom and when he can't sleep he'll clean the kitchen and living room, but two days later he'll swear I treat him like a pack mule if I ask him to take the garbage to the dumpster.

... wonder no more why I'm nuttier than rat crap in a pistachio factory! And yet ~ I ADORE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!

My heart rides around in a truck

I am so grateful to God for a husband that loves me, respects me, and graciously took responsibility for my children. Part of taking that responsibility requires working as much as is available to provide for a household of 7. That schedule is on an average 3-4 weeks on the road, followed by 3 -4 days at home. My duty as his wife is to encourage and support him, to let him know how much we appreciate what he's doing and the sacrifices he makes. I feel like I must always be positive when I speak to him, not let him know when I'm sad, lonely or discouraged. Sometimes that is so hard. Like today. I looked at the calendar and figured 3 weeks from his last time home and was excited to see him next weekend, but unfortunatley, it's 3 weeks from when he started back to work so he won't be home for another two weeks. I got off the phone with him today, laid down to take a nap with the baby and cried myself to sleep. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon mad at myself for getting upset. It's not like I don't know how this goes. I should be used to it by now. Or do you ever get used to it? Maybe not. I don't think I want to... how can anyone get used to sleeping 100's or 1,000's of miles apart from their spouse, or only eating a handful of meals with them each month. I'm glad that we miss each other... we are always glad to see one another, it just never seems like enough time. Seems like as soon as he's here, it's time for him to go again. I don't sleep well when he's away, 90% of the time within an hour of him being home I'll be sound asleep next to him, it's like my body says "phew! we can relax" and I'm OUT! The other thing that is hard is the birthdays/holidays. He missed Andy's birthday, his birthday, he'll miss Valentines Day, My birthday... and who knows what else. We have learned to be celebration flexible and not be a slave to that calendar. Doesn't matter when these milestones fall on the calendar, we can have a cake whenever we want. The phone is invaluable. Yesterday, the baby made me cry.... Dave called, we chatted for a few minutes and then he asked to talk to Andy. I called Andy in the room and put the cell on speakerphone. Dave began talking and AndyMan said, "Its dad, he's takin' a me" and clapped his little hands. He was so happy. Today, he pointed at his picture on the wall and told me "me daddy in a 'chuck' aww" He hung his little head and climbed on my lap and hugged me. It's days like these that I make myself think of the good things. such as we got to have him for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and he'll be here for Becky's birthday. Which is an especially big deal for her. And as I said, the fact of the matter is that he is a wonderful husband and father, and we are all grateful that he's the head of this household. I just hope that we make this a house he is always happy to come home to.