My Great Hunter

This will easily become part of my all time favorite photos. This isn't just any boy with his first hunting victory ~ this is a testament of how far my son has come in the last year. There is light in his eyes, he smiles with purpose! How it broke my heart to see my son in anguish for so long. He was sorrowful, and laden with stress and grief far beyond his years. Since we moved here he has discovered what being a boy is all about. He's embraced it, enjoyed it and reveled in it. He's beginning his journey into manhood, and is in the best frame of mind to make that transition a fantastic success. He has the most beautiful heart and he's learning how to share it. A boy needs a strong male model. Unfortunately my husbands job keeps him away from the home 90% of the time, thankfully I have a cousin who ~ with great love ~ has taken Garrett into his fold. You can see how please they both are in this photo. Without Paul, none of this would have been possible for Garrett. I'm so thankful that God got us through this journey and brought us safely to this place. For this is what I've always wanted for my son... to be loved, cherished, guided, disciplined and instructed in a way that he realized not only the love of his family but the love God has for him as well. God can offer a salve for the heart that nothing can compare to, its the greatest gift ever. My boy is growing, and changing and healing... we are all healing... and daily we are REJOICING! God is good, he provides: He provided my son a Mentor, a Friend, and Spiritual Leader all wrapped up in the package we lovingly refer to as "Uncle Pastor".

parenting woes...

It's hard enough to be a parent, but when you have to co-parent in a divorce relationship, some days it seems nearly insurmountable. Try as you may to mediate, cajole, placate, etc... you can't always convince the other parent to do the right thing. And when they don't do the right thing, how do you enforce the rule that you always have to respect your parent...always.

I guess I just get tired of saying "I'm sorry he did that" . I have learned to stop apologizing FOR HIM, but as their mom, when they are hurt I still have to say "I'm sorry that happened". As a parent I can't imagine doing something, anything without thought for how it would/will affect my kids. Aren't all parents supposed to think that way?

It's not hard to be thoughtful, and respectful. If you say you're going to do something, please do it. No, it doesn't have to be done immediately...but do it. Remember when you call that you have 4 kids ~ if you ask to speak to just one ~ especially when another answers the phone, that's just thoughtless and unkind. If the child says, "Do you want to talk to so and so?" Please don't say "NO". If you don't see them often, make the most of your visits by hugging and laughing and playing... don't wast it complaining and yelling.

At the end of the day, I don't have to make excuses for you, or lie for you. I won't do that. The court has asked me to do that, and I've told them I will not. Children are smart and intuitive, after the age of 6 they will and do form an opinion of the type of person they think you are by the way that you treat them. I hope there never comes a day when my babies feel the way about me, as they do about their dad. It's sad. I'll continue to pray for a heart change for them all... and for myself.

It just shouldn't be HARD to love your own kids... to be kind to them... to keep your word...